Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Decisions

I hung up with Liz, and as if we had just read a circular looked at Chris and asked, "Well.  What do ya think?"  We started to pace back and forth in front of the stores, completely lacking direction as to where we were going.  Our heads were spinning.  A healthy baby boy was going to be born that night, but we had hoped to have heard about the previous circular already.  We decided to take a little time and consult some friends.

I called my best friend, but she wasn't home.  I spoke with her sweet husband and walked him through the situation.  By the time I hung up with him it was time to meet back up with Chris's parents, and we decided not to say anything quite yet.  Didn't want to get ahead of ourselves.  We paced around Barnes & Noble, again, directionless.  I looked at Chris with big, googly eyes at one point.  "What?"  he asked.  "Umm, I'm thinking about the baby."  We headed to a shoe store next where Chris's parents offered to get him a new pair.  I was able to focus on the purchase at hand, that is until my bestie's ring tone came from my pocket.  "I'm going to go talk to her.  I like the ones you have on."  And I quickly exited the store.  As I explained what was going on I paced around the outdoor shopping center before I finally found a bench to sit on.  She was able to ask me some good questions to think through, but in true best friend fashion, I had already thought about everything she mentioned.  I asked her whether our decision should be affected by the fact we hadn't heard yet about the other circular yet.  "Would you say yes to this if the other circular weren't in the picture?"  "Yes."  There was our answer.  Why would we pass up on this baby when the other one isn't a guarantee?

We called Liz and left her a voicemail that we were interested in having the birthmother see our profile, but there were so many details to think through.  It was a Friday.  Sunday Chris was speaking at church and then we were planning to drive to Houston.  We hadn't seen any of my family or friends yet.  If we were to be chosen, maybe I could fly out Saturday night, or Sunday morning, and Chris could drive our car and dog back to MI on Monday.  But the birthmother wanted to meet the adoptive parents as soon as possible, and the baby was going to be discharged on Sunday or Monday.  How can we make this work?  Wait!  "Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Manda."  I went ahead that night and emailed Liz.  She knew we were in TX, and I wanted to let her know we had a plan if we were to be chosen.  She emailed me back Saturday morning.  "Thanks for the  update.  I will be meeting with the birthmom regarding profiles at 2pm today.  I don't know how long she plans to take to make her decision but I will update you once she has."


I sat by my lap top all day.  Literally.  I sat on a couch with the computer and cell phone near by at all times. If I went to the bathroom, the phone came with me.  We went running that evening, and my phone was in my hand throughout the workout.  I think because the whole situation was so last minute and rushed, I felt an urgency.  I hadn't clung to my computer with other circulars, but because I knew we would have an answer within 24 hours, my heart was anxious and impatient.  My head was playing tricks on me.  "Ready.  Ring!" as I stared at my phone.  I would refresh my Inbox page every ten minutes.  "You'll get a response when you least expect it.  Just ignore all of this."  I don't know what kind of superstitious logic that is!  We went to bed without an answer.


We woke up early the next morning since we had an hour drive ahead of us to get to church.  Chris was already getting ready in the bathroom when I peeled myself from the bed.  Before I could leave the bedroom to check my email to see if Liz responded, my phone rang.  It was Liz.  I waved down Chris.  "It's Liz."  Chris's eyes popped out of his head.  "Sorry to call so early, but I have some good news for you."  I nodded furiously to Chris and whispered "Good news."


"The birthmother chose your profile."


While Chris paced around the bedroom and welled up with tears, I tried to stay focused and ask Liz as many questions as I could think of.  Do we need to bring a car seat to the hospital?  When will he be discharged?  When do we need to be there?  I found out that the birthmother looked at seven profiles on Friday, but Liz didn't get our's to her til Saturday.  She looked at our profile and said "He looks so laid back, and she looks so friendly."  The birthmother wanted to meet with us as soon as possible.  The baby would be discharged on Monday, the next day.  The birthmother decided we could name the boy and put his name on the birth certificate.  Our Elliott Christopher was born and waiting for us.

More to come,
Amanda

1 comment:

  1. Amanda: I read all the blogs in one sitting. You had me in tears at points and rolling with laughter at others. You are a magnificent writer and so full of compassion. I want your next dose immediately! thank you for sharing your most intimate moments.

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