Monday, January 9, 2012

Not if, but when

preg-nant [preg-nuhnt]- adjective
fraught, filled, or abounding {usually followed by with}: a woman pregnant with anticipation.

That was me!  Finally preggers, just differently than most women.  That night Chris came home from work, and I immediately hugged him.  "Thanks for letting us adopt a baby."
"You're welcome."
"Honey, for the first time ever, in my life, I feel pregnant.  It's always been 'if we have a baby,' and now it's 'when we have a baby.'"  I had NEVER been able to confidently say that.

I was pregnant with anticipation.  Pregnant with excitement.  Pregnant!  My husband saying "Yes" was like the stick turning pink {and I had no idea how much pink was about to come into my life}.

Three weeks later we were getting ready to go to the information meeting.  I imagined a big room with chairs in a circle filled with happy couples, like ourselves, thrilled to be hearing about the opportunity of adopting a child of their own.  Maybe we would go around the circle and say our names and how long we've been married.  Bonding.  Sharing.  I can't wait!

We make it there with time to spare and are led down a short hallway where our soon-to-be case worker welcomes us {I will refer to our case worker as Liz for the sake of anonymity}.  There is a card table set up with a sign-in sheet, water bottles, and snacks.  Chris and I are never ones to pass up water and snacks, so we load up and head in.  The room is smaller than our bedroom and has 4 rows of 8 metal folding chairs with a puny middle aisle down the center.  It is dead silent, and there's about three other couples already seated.  I slowly take off my puffer coat from New Year's, careful not to punch the people sitting behind us in the face.  Tight spaces.  I twist off my water bottle cap and take a small sip.  CRUNCH! "Shh."  Chris is enjoying his salty snack.  I don't think anyone else but us took advantage of the snacks that night.

By the time the meeting began there was about ten couples in the room, and it appeared only one of them were truly ecstatic about being there.  That would be us!  I was thinking things like "I wouldn't even want these people to babysit for me," and "I guess these people haven't had the past two years as us or else they'd have grins on their faces like us."  I quickly learned that not all people who adopt are quite like us.  Some are, but not all.

We spent the next hour being overwhelmed with details and watching a power point and video filled with sweet children's faces.  With each face I thought "I would take care of you."  "I could be your mommy."  "Yes please."  At the end of the meeting we filled out some forms saying we were interested in more information.  Liz thanked us for coming, and we left well-informed and ready to begin the application process.  We  had a mini-application to fill out requesting access to a longer, detailed on-line application.  Some basic info.  Within three days it was complete, we wrote our first check to Bethany Christian Services for the application fee, and it was all ready for the mail.  Let's get this party started!

More to come,


  1. Amanda, I am loving reading your blogs. I hate it when it gets to the end though. It's like when I watch a t.v. show and I am loving every minute of it and then I realize it might be getting close to the end and I get sad. As I read your story, I scroll down and think...come on more more..oh man :(
    Keep them coming!

  2. This story is full of cliffhangers!! Ahhhh!! Thanks for sharing Amanda! Little Amelia is extra special :)

  3. I am so thankful you are sharing your story! I know so many people (myself included) interested in adoption (someday) but have no IDEA what is involved in the process....looking forward to hearing more of your beautiful story!...and...CONGRATS!