Approved

June 6th, 2011.  We started our day by eating breakfast at Yolk.  I had oatmeal topped with sauteed peaches and pecans.  Then we went on an architecture boat tour led by a fantastic Australian woman who wore a large black hat and yellow thick-rimmed glasses.  We ate at Flaco's Tacos for lunch before Chris had to go to class.  After an afternoon of shopping on the Magnificent Mile, I met him at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.  Arcade Fire and Ellie Goulding were on my playlist, and I was looking forward to the rest of our week in Chicago.  These are the events of the day our home study was approved.

Chris was taking a class at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago for a whole week, and I had my own personal vacation during the days and fantastic dates with him at night.  We went all out in true Chris & Amanda fashion.  We've never celebrated Valentine's Day as a couple.  Instead we save up and majorly splurge for our anniversary in May.  This year we waited til our Chicago trip.  I had scored majorly on Restaurant.com during their Memorial Day sale.  80% off gift ceritificates!  I got three $50 gift certificates for $4 each.  Fine dining on a budget.  I wore dresses, we had three course meals, and best of all we were in the city every night.  It was a much needed distraction, yet our second day there I'm faced with reality.  Our home study was approved and there was no escaping the adoption process.  Our vacation was now subtitled "Our last before we have a baby."

Our names were now on the distribution list to receive the circulars {make sure you read my last post to understand this stage of the process}, and not three days later we received our first one.  A boy with special needs was due to be born within the month, and the mother was allowing the agency to choose his parents. Boom!  We're faced with our first decision.  I don't think I can rightly describe the feeling of knowing there is a baby available for adoption, and we bear the burden of choosing if we would be interested in adopting it.  To what is it comparable?  Not to wanting a husband or job or puppy.  There's a sweet baby that's going to be born in need of parents, and I want to be a parent.  As I read through the email there was a great need to be objective because emotions were not lacking in the moment.  This is where it was helpful that we had already completed our Service Plan.  The decision for this particular circular had already been made.  We knew we were not in a place to care for this baby's specific needs.  We did not respond with interest to our first circular.

Although it was a "no," what encouragement that we were now being made aware of real opportunities.  I never would have expected an email so soon.  I thought maybe in a couple weeks, but what was waiting for us when we arrived home from Chicago the next day?  Another email!  A baby boy due in less than two weeks.  As we read through the email, we were hesitant to allow our hearts to be as excited as they were.  All of the birthmother's criteria was fitting our's.  Because Chris and I had already talked at length about what we would and wouldn't say "yes" to, our decisions were usually quick.  What was left to pray about?  We responded with an enthusiastic "Yes," but found out a week later she chose another family.

We received three more circulars that month.  Here's how it usually went down.  I would check my email and find a circular waiting in my Inbox.  I imagine it to have said, "Where have you been?  I have been sitting here for like three hours waiting for you to read me.  Hello?"  I would immediately hunt down Chris.  I even drug him out of bed once.  That's usually a no-no, but he didn't mind it in these cases.  I was careful to read every single detail in the email as quickly as I could in a slow manner.  Does that make sense at all?  Or did I read them as slowly as possible in a fast manner.  Either way, I could hardly get through the email fast enough.  I would finish the email, look up at Chris, we would flash each other a goofy grin, and I would say, "Well, what do you think?"  Of the three more circulars we received that month, we said "no" to one and "yes" to the other two.  A white boy, a black girl, and a white girl.  Were any of these going to be my baby?

More to come,
Amanda

PS.  I can't write this without hearing the Target Lady in my head.  "Approved!"  "Classic Peg."  {shoulder bounce}