Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Music to My Ears

Texas was our one last hurrah before it all began.  Our time with our friends was sweet.  My best friend has always been Miss Positivity throughout all of my infertility and the adoption process.  She kept talking about how this was our last time together before we would have a baby.  I was always reluctant to agree with her and would remind her that we just don't know.  She would say, "Exactly.  We don't know.  You could get a baby next month," or some other glass-half-full comment.  I love her for it.  The Lord knows I'm skeptical enough for the both of us.  I guess she is optimistic enough for the both of us.  Both her and her husband were devastated when our adoption fell through just a few days before we saw them.

Laura would say, "You know I'm really sad you didn't get the baby boy, but I'm even more bummed you didn't get the baby girl."  I couldn't help but agree.  She always followed it up with, "I'm still going to pray you get her."
"Mama {our name for each other}, the birthmom already picked another family."
"I know, but I can pray whatever I want."

Chris would say the same thing.  "I really wanted that baby girl."
"I'm sorry, honey."
"I just wish she would have picked us."
"Well, she didn't."  I'm quite the downer, huh?  What is it with everyone around me wanting something to happen that is not just unlikely?  It's too late.  The birthmom picked a family, and Liz said she was moving on with an adoption plan.  Chris said this often, as did Laura.  I would think, "Come on guys.  Get over it."

We flew back to Michigan on Tuesday, August 2nd.  When Chris and I got home, I still had two big bags of blue stuff to return.  I also packed up the clean bottles that were on our kitchen counter and said to Chris, "Hopefully these won't be put up for too long."  We both went back to work and life as usual.  That Friday we were going to go to a cookout with my department coworkers.  I had been working all afternoon and had about 30 minutes to go home and throw some things together to take with us.  I arrived home to music blaring throughout the house.  We have an intercom system from the 80's in our house that still works, and Chris had music blasting throughout every room of the house while he was working out.  "Hello!"  I shouted as I came in the house, as to not startle him.  He scares easy!  No joke.  "Having a good work out?"  I yelled.  We continued our loud conversation until I thought I heard something other than the music in my head.  Is that my phone ringing?  It was unrecognizable with all the noise.  I ran back into the kitchen and saw the screen on my phone lit up.  The called ID said Bethany Christian Services.  "It's Liz.  Shut off the music."  Chris walked toward me trying to hear what I was saying.  "It's Liz."  He promptly shut down the party.

Liz and I briefly had some chit chat and small talk before she said, "Well, I have some good news for you.  Your profile has been chosen by a birthmom."  But we hadn't received any circular emails recently.  There's no one looking at our profile.
"What?  Who?"  I'm whispering to Chris, as usual, repeating everything Liz says.  His eyes are bugging out of his head.
"It's the birthmom from June.  The one you guys kept asking about."
"The one having a girl?"
"Yep.  The family she previously chose backed out of the adoption, and she chose you guys."

More to come,


  1. Oh, you're leaving me hanging!! I made the mistake of "catching" up on your posts during my lunch break at work yesterday, and had to stop after "Decisions." Aargh! Your writing is beautiful, Amanda. Thank you so much for sharing what the Lord has done in your life.

    1. Resist jumping ahead. There is a sweetness about reading them in order.

    2. Is there a way to jump ahead??? I can't wait, although I do know the happy ending.

  2. I LOVE this part of the story. I also love that your friend said "I know, but I can pray whatever I want". :)

  3. I am in tears reading this post! I'll never forget saying goodbye to each other last summer...our last visit before you became a mommy. I was so upset about what happened with Elliot, but so excited to see what God had planned next. I still stand amazed at God's goodness and sweet timing; reading Amelia's story completely humbles me--I just want to shout out praises to God for what He has done! This is the BEST blog EVER!!!! And might I add I will always be amazed at your healthy perspective through it all. You lived out your faith and truly held fast to Jesus. I'm so thankful for the example you are to us all, and to your daughter, too. :)

  4. oh my! What a cliff-hanger! cant wait to read more!